Protecting Your Energy Is Not Selfish, It’s Strategic
I’m so glad you’re here.
This post is part of my 6-week holiday series for women who want to move through the busy season with more intention, authenticity, and calm. Each week, we’ll take a closer look at what it means to create space for yourself in a season that often demands so much from you.
Most women have been taught to think of time and money as the main “resources” they have to manage during the holidays. But there’s another resource that shapes everything about how you show up — your energy.
And unlike time or money, energy is deeply personal. It fluctuates. It responds to stress, people, seasons of life, and the emotional weight you carry. Yet it’s the resource women ignore most often.
Part of that is cultural: we glorify being busy and overextended. We celebrate the woman who can “do it all” while hiding the cost she pays behind the scenes. The result? We treat exhaustion like a sign of inadequacy instead of a signal that something needs attention.
Your Energy Tells the Truth — Even When You Don’t Want to Hear It
Energy boundaries aren’t about being fragile.
They’re about being honest.
Your body and mind tell you the truth long before your calendar does:
You feel a knot in your stomach before an event you dread.
You’re short-tempered because you’ve been running on empty for days.
You’re restless, overwhelmed, or numb — all signs of emotional depletion.
You keep pushing, hoping the next free day or the next weekend will fix it.
Ignoring these signals doesn’t make you strong.
Listening to them doesn’t make you weak.
It makes you self-aware.
Why Energy Boundaries Are Often the Hardest
Time and money feel easier to justify because they’re measurable. You can tell someone you’re busy. You can say you’re on a budget.
But saying, “I don’t have the emotional bandwidth”?
That hits a vulnerable place.
It can feel like you’re admitting you’re too much or not enough — too sensitive, too tired, too overwhelmed, too human.
But being human isn’t a flaw to correct.
It’s the reality to plan around.
What It Looks Like to Protect Your Energy Instead of Pushing Through
Energy boundaries don’t always mean declining invitations. Sometimes they simply mean adjusting how you participate.
For example:
Shortening a visit instead of attending the entire day
Planning downtime before or after an event
Sharing responsibilities instead of carrying all of the emotional labor yourself
Choosing fewer gifts instead of overspending out of guilt
Opting for smaller, more meaningful gatherings
The goal isn’t to avoid life or avoid people — it’s to show up in a way that’s sustainable.
Because here’s the truth:
When you override your limits, you don’t show up as your best self anyway. You show up stretched thin, distracted, irritable, and partially checked out.
Energy boundaries don’t take you away from people.
They allow you to bring your real self to them.
Your Energy Shapes Your Presence
This season, your presence is far more valuable than your performance.
No one benefits from you running at 20%.
Protecting your energy makes room for:
More genuine connection
More patience with your kids or partner
More emotional availability
A more grounded, regulated version of you
A holiday that feels like something you lived, not survived
You get to be the one who decides what version of yourself you want to bring into this season.
A Simple Practice to Help You Choose Wisely
Think about a few events or opportunities coming up — travel, gatherings, traditions, gift-giving, volunteering.
Then imagine yourself:
Before it — Are you energized or already stretched?
During it — Will it nourish you or drain you?
After it — Will you feel more connected… or need to recover for days?
Then ask:
How can I say yes in a way that fits the energy I actually have?
What small adjustments would make this feel more sustainable?
This isn’t about shrinking your life.
It’s about aligning with what your life can hold right now.
Intentional Yeses Make Clearer Nos
When you understand your energy capacity, you make choices that feel grounded rather than guilt-driven. Saying no becomes less dramatic because your yeses are anchored in what truly matters to you.
And in that clarity, the holidays stop feeling like a gauntlet — and start feeling like something you have agency within.
You deserve a season that leaves you more connected, not depleted.
See you next week for
When Others Don’t Like Your Boundaries
If your holiday season brings up things that feel too heavy to work out with a good friend, or if that good friend has shared that she goes to therapy and thinks you might like it too, here are some resources that could make considering therapy even easier.
