Simplify From The Inside Out
I’m so glad you’re here.
This post is part of my 6-week holiday series for women who want to move through the busy season with more intention, authenticity, and calm. Each week, we’ll take a closer look at what it means to create space for yourself in a season that often demands so much from you.
Simplify the Season: How to Create a Lower-Stress Holiday That Actually Feels Good
By this point, you may be noticing something important:
The more grounded and intentional you become, the less chaotic the holidays start to feel.
Not because your schedule magically clears, but because you’re approaching it differently.
So much of holiday stress comes from a quiet, unquestioned belief:
“I should be able to handle all of this.”
Most women don’t lack capability; instead, they have too much of it. They’ve built entire lives around showing up, following through, and holding everything together. The problem isn’t that you can’t do it all. It’s that doing it all often comes at the cost of your breath, your body, and your presence.
This week’s work is not about lowering the bar.
It’s about raising your awareness.
It’s about shifting the unspoken internal message from:
“I can do anything.”
to
“How do I want to do this in a way that actually supports me?”
That shift is subtle and powerful. It invites you out of reactive adrenaline and into response intention.
Simplifying Doesn’t Mean You Care Less; It Means You’re Listening
When you simplify, you’re making room for:
A pace that allows for real presence
Space to check in with yourself, not just your to-do list
Flexibility to adjust when life (or your body) gives you new information
A deeper connection to what matters most, instead of what looks best from the outside
Instead of asking, “How can I fit everything in?”
you begin asking, “Which of these actually matters to me this year?”
That’s not avoidance. That’s clarity.
The Hidden Power of the Word “Should”
Most women don’t realize how often “should” is running the show.
“I should go to that event.”
“I should want to do this.”
“I should make this perfect for everyone.”
But “should” isn’t truth — it’s usually the voice of:
obligation
fear of judgment
comparison
perfectionism
or old family expectations
When you live by “should,” you silence your actual feelings and data.
And over time, that silence becomes resentment, fatigue, and emotional distance from yourself.
Try this instead:
Notice a “should” thought… and gently re-write it from a grounded place.
“I should go to this party.” → “I want to go if I can leave early and still feel rested tomorrow.”
“I should make everything perfect for the kids.” → “I want to create moments of connection, not exhaustion.”
These small language shifts return you to conscious choice — instead of automatic obligation.
What You Might Notice as You Simplify
As you begin questioning old assumptions, your body and mind will respond with information. You might feel:
relief
lightness
clarity
sadness for how much pressure you’ve carried
or even a bit of discomfort at doing things differently
None of these reactions are “wrong.”
They are data.
They are signs that you’re interrupting a long-standing pattern and choosing a new one.
And change, even good change, will often feel unfamiliar before it feels freeing.
A New Measure of a “Successful” Holiday
This season, a successful holiday isn’t:
perfectly executed
highly productive
or aesthetically impressive
A successful holiday might simply mean:
you were present more than perfect
you rested without guilt
you said “no” at least once
you checked in with yourself instead of ignoring yourself
you made one choice based on your needs, not expectations
That is real progress.
Notice and Own Your Own ‘Shoulds’
The ‘shoulds’ that you hold may have come from someone else, but you are the one deciding if you are going to continue to treat them as truths or what they are, one perspective. I encourage you to take 5 minutes this week for this exercise below. I have used it in my own life, and it’s one I come back to whenever I need grounding and quiet from my own striving voices.
Take 5 Minutes:
Step 1: List 3–5 “shoulds.”
Write down the expectations you quietly carry, the ones that feel convincing in your head, even if they’d sound unrealistic out loud.
Step 2: Identify where each one came from.
Was it modeled in your family? Learned in childhood? Reinforced by culture or social pressure? Naming the source helps loosen its power.
Step 3: Replace each “should” with what’s actually true for you right now.
“Shoulds” are rigid and rooted in the past. When you update them to reflect your current values and circumstances, you create space to show up with more honesty and ease.
As you start poking holes in the old “shoulds” you have been treating as truth, notice how your body, mind, and emotions respond. Do you feel relief, freedom, clarity — or maybe a little discomfort? All of it is useful data.
This is an important step toward more grounded, intentional action this season. Every time you replace your “should” with your truth, you simplify the holidays for yourself.
See you next week for
Taking Your Growth Into the New Year
If your holiday season brings up things that feel too heavy to work out with a good friend, or if that good friend has shared that she goes to therapy and thinks you might like it too, here are some resources that could make considering therapy even easier.
